Tuesday, January 15, 2008

January 15th, 2008

My heart goes out to all of the families who have lost a micro preemie. I can't imagine the pain of losing a child.

Having micro preemies is like being on a roller coaster ride that never seems to end. One minute things look great and the next minute things are falling apart. It all happens so quickly. We make split second decisions without truly understanding what these decisions will mean or what direction they will take us in the future. In the very beginning, it's all about making it to the next day. Then it's all about making it home from the NICU. Once we are home, we spend many days/nights worrying about whether we are doing things right. It also gives us time to reflect on where we have been and the decisions we have made. I have made many split second decisions and I can't say that I would have done anything different if given more time to make the decisions. I can also say that even with all of the pain I've been through, am going through, and will continue going through, I thank God for Kinnick and Carver and this experience. God has opened my eyes to a whole new world that I never really thought about. I have met so many wonderful people because of Kinnick and Carver. I look at a lot of things differently, now. We didn't ask for these babies. They were gifts from God. It's hard not to think about all of the pain associated with micro preemies, but the fact that God chose us to have and to take care of these micro preemies is a huge compliment.


Anonymous said...

You're grace and positive attitude are an example to all of us! May God bless you and your family!

abby said...

I know what you mean about this turning your life completely upside down, and about the loss (we did lose one of our twins, sadly) and about meeting wonderful people we'd never have met under other circumstances....all of this (and the rollercoaster) could not be more true.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know how much we're thinking about your guys and hoping that all goes well with both Kinnick and Carver's recovery from here on in....

Let me know if it's ok to link to your blog if you get a chance!


23wktwins'mommy said...

We too were faced with almost impossible decisions when it came to S&E, (especially E b/c he was so incredibly sick.) There were nurses who quite clearly disagreed with our decision to keep treating and to give him a little more time. There were nights I stayed up crying wondering if we'd made the right decisions. Sometimes reading about people who are against resuscitation at less than 26 weeks really made me look carefully at the path we'd chosen, and the effects of those choices.
I can honestly say without any hesitation that I am so thankful for the choices we made.
My heart goes out to all those who have lost a micro preemie, and although I can never know exactly how they feel, I will never forget how close we came.
There will always be people who believe the choices we made are not the choices they would have made, and it's taken me a bit to fully digest that fact.
I will never be able to articulate just how thankful we are for their lives.
So glad I found your blog, and feel free to take a look back at where we've been over the past year and come to me with any questions/concerns.